Loony targets choc votes

BIGOTS should have custard squirted into their ears, according to a 'loony' by-election hopeful.

John Cartwright, who is running for the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, also says students, pensioners and the unemployed should be given free chocolate.

But the political veteran, who has run in 12 local elections and two general, also has serious aims to overhaul the country.

He said: "The main point is to strengthen democracy by not just withdrawing from the European Union but strengthening processes.

"People can have more input into the formulation of legislation. We need better scrutiny of government decisions rather than just voting once every four years."

Mr Cartwright wants to see proportional representation used in the UK - although in the last general election the existing system meant he was able to help oust an unpopular MP.

"It was probably my greatest achievement. I got 193 votes which isn't numerically large but was the difference between the top two candidates.

"The first past the post system is not something I agree with but it does have its own internal logic in that minority parties are supposed to put the main parties on the spot.

"This is exactly how they are supposed to do it. "

He is confident about the results of next week's poll.

"I'm going to win, obviously, because of my brilliant policies and personality and charisma. I'd be happy for Nigel Farrage to come second, and all the rest will be pushed into joint 11th position.

"It makes sense to vote loony."

Mr Cartwright also hopes to inject some light relief into the contest.

"It's making the point that politics doesn't have to ve dull and boring, it can be a bit of fun and colourful and lively while making a serious point along the line.

"We give the voters another party to vote for, without being stuck with the three main parties with their whips telling them how to vote. They all vote like flocks of sheep instead of thinking more carefully about the legislation."

Fellow 'loony' Lord Toby Jug, adds: "We're having our traditional victory party the night before the election. That's why we always lose, because our supporters are too drunk the next day.

BROMLEY TIMES